You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
be right there i have to get my cape
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
