If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
