Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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