The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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