I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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