Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
