It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
