Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
How's work?
Spinning.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
