Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
