I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
sarcasm needs its own font
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
