roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
