Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
