you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
