remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
