More tranny stories later!
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i will never coherently bang her
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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