so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
