Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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