What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She even gives head with a lisp.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
