We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Found your dick twin last night
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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