at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
