So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
