Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
they call him Oral-B. enough said
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
