you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
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