i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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