but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just googled if crying burns calories
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
