i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize