how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
