and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
