sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
