After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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