I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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