the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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