Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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