She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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