some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
