I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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