I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The adults are the big ones right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
