i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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