5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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