i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
