Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
