do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize