We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Bring me that man meat
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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