I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize