Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
