I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
