I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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