and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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