he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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