I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
