You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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