Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he was CRYING into my vagina
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
