We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
