Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
