i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
ttyl tear gas
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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