be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
