My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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