Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
