Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
