I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
