its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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